Theresa May’s Letter of Last Resort

To be opened by nuclear submarine commanders if the UK has been destroyed.

12 May 2017

Boris, If you're reading this, it means you're in charge. I'm so glad I banished you to the submarine Artful so you wouldn't embarrass us over the election. Now you're in charge. Ironically it also means that Jezza was correct - nuclear weapons are no deterrent at all. Still, it turns out most things he said were correct in reterospect. Good luck in maintaining the empire, and i'll miss your tenderness. T XX

Rt Hon Theresa May
Theresa May
Prime Minister

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