Terry May!’s Letter of Last Resort

To be opened by nuclear submarine commanders if the UK has been destroyed.

12 May 2017

Alright Submarine dudes So Blighty is now effectively a lump of faintly glowing glass. Good news: we don't have to spout any crap about some 'Northern Powerhouse' anymore. Bad news: I had a Pret card with one space missing. Gutted. Anyhoo, great work with the sneaking around with the nuclear missiles. Cheers for that. My advice? Aim them at Donald Fucking Trump and head for the Maldives. But it's up to you, no biggie. PS: Had a squatch at the Jimmy Saville files. Highlights attached. You would not believe what he got old Maggie T to do with a kumquat.

Rt Hon Terry May!
Terry May!
Prime Minister

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