Dave Meat-Tatoesngravy’s Letter of Last Resort

To be opened by nuclear submarine commanders if the UK has been destroyed.

12 May 2017

Dear Commander. Having opened this letter, this means one of two things: 1) You've gotten impatient and wanted to have a peek. Suggest you don't read further. Please, just don't. I wrote this after a couple of gins whilst on the loo, it's not good reading. 2) The UK is now just a burnt out crisp, this is a bit of a bugger to be quite honest. There are some drawbacks to your present predicament. You could choose to retaliate, go into hiding or find an allied base. You should do what feels right for you and your crew but if France is still about then well you know, just saying.... If you've seen the Last Ship then you've got a rough idea of what to expect but if you haven't seen it then I recommend you get on Netflix and watch it pretty sharpish. It's pretty much going to be your training manual until you find safe harbour. Good luck with that. I'd wish you well but I am most likely a smear on the ground or I've become some sort of mutant cannibal and I'm eating someone's leg at this present time. I feel just in saying I am quite jealous. If there is a possibility that the UK can be rebuilt could you plan to include a Blockbuster and Woolworths at some point, really miss the pick n mix in Woolies. Anyway Best of British to you.


Rt Hon Dave Meat-Tatoesngravy
Dave Meat-Tatoesngravy
Prime Minister
 

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