Boris Johnson’s Letter of Last Resort

To be opened by nuclear submarine commanders if the UK has been destroyed.

9 March 2017

If you're reading this, I'm dead. I want you to know that the money was only resting my account, and they were only nuns anyway. Also, did you know there's a secret whisky stash hidden in a bust of Margaret Thatcher the office at Downing Street? But, that's enough about me. You're probably wondering what you should do now the UK has been reduced to the smoking pile of ash certain newspapers have long believed it to be. Well, the good news is I think the cats are safe. Anyway, I'm mainly typing this because I said I would they're looking at me and, so, y'know, do what you want. I hear Malta is nice (if it's still there), you could probably be king there if you fancied it. Failing that, Iran would pay a LOT for the contents of this sub - so go have fun


Rt Hon Boris Johnson
Boris Johnson
Prime Minister
 

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